It was like I'd just been away for a while.
A long while!
Meeting my sister was bittersweet. She had grown up an only child, too young to have remembered anything about me, to have noticed the swelling in her mum's tummy where I grew.
Both of us had wished for the other, a sister,
21 years later she had come.....And so did the shoes!!! We are the same size = Bliss!
I'd never had the same size feet as anyone until then, yay!!!
We've only been together a few times, I could count them on one hand.
Our second time came when she flew over to be bridesmaid at my wedding!
Then after that she made a quick one-day visit to Perth a few years later. I still smile when I think back to that time, we were shopping when the assistant approached us and remarked, "Gee, you can't half tell you two are sisters!"
We both looked at each other and burst into tears.
The poor girl in the shop looked baffled at what she'd said to get such a response but all I could manage to say amidst the blubbering was "it's ok, what you said is like music to our ears!"
I don't see her much. My sis travels far and wide. Separate lives but similar hearts. When we do track one another down we are able to pick up where we last left off. I adore her and miss her despite the fact that we don't really know each other.
I got really upset one day, a little angry too I guess. I was pregnant and sitting in a waiting room at the doctor's, when playing on the floor by my feet were two little girls dressed in fairy costumes.
In their own little world, oblivious to everything else but their dresses, their wings and each other.
I watched them, my heart tugged,
and to put it plain and raw, I felt ripped off!
So me being me, I wrote a poem about it...
My sister wasn't the only one who didn't know I existed. No-one tied to my birth-parents did apart from one best friend. When all was finally revealed after I'd searched, some tensions arose. I'm no expert but according to Maori traditions, if for any reason you can't keep your children then they go to other members of the family. Aunts and Uncles were hurt, they said they could have had me. That they would have had me,
but it wasn't meant to be, My God was onto it.
An exception to the rule.
Finding them filled in the spaces,
some of them anyway.
From someone who had searched her mind, her life, her heart, the world, I thought I would find the answer in finding where I came from.
I thought I would find myself.
Instead, I got to the end of myself,
then realised exactly how lost I was in the process.
I was back to basics.
Back to square one.
Back to wondering who?
and back to the beginning for HIM, my Saviour to find me, to start over,
to ultimately bring me HOME, the home He planned for me, not the one I had sometimes wished they'd taken me back to. Not even the one I ended up at despite it being chosen by Him, by God.
But the one He wants me to bring others too as well.
I didn't always see it like this and have had to deal with some pretty heavy issues that still rear their head from time to time, but here and now I can see that I wasn't without.
I'm not without.
God gave me a family - a good one, the best for me in-fact!
Loving parents who love Jesus and taught me first to love Him.
He gave me my little-big brothers (they tower over me!!)
My own Family, the one my husband and I have made, complete with two little girls who are the cutest sisters that love to dress up, giggle and read stories with each other. A brave, amazing son who first made me a mama and helped to put things in perspective.
God gave me His Family and in that, the desires of my heart.
My home is Heaven and my family will come with me, all of them! That was His plan all along.
I will bring them Home.
I know where I belong and I am right where He wants me!