pondering & projects, pictures & pearls

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wings To Fly - Part 3

Over the last 10 years we've all got to know each other, and in finding my Birth Mum, I also found my birth dad and sister because they were all together. We've spent some nice times together. Strangers I'd felt I'd known all along - a quirky thought!
It was like I'd just been away for a while. 
A long while!

Meeting my sister was bittersweet. She had grown up an only child, too young to have remembered anything about me, to have noticed the swelling in her mum's tummy where I grew.
Both of us had wished for the other, a sister,
21 years later she had come.....And so did the shoes!!! We are the same size = Bliss! 
I'd never had the same size feet as anyone until then, yay!!! 
We've only been together a few times, I could count them on one hand.
Our second time came when she flew over to be bridesmaid at my wedding!
Then after that she made a quick one-day visit to Perth a few years later. I still smile when I think back to that time, we were shopping when the assistant approached us and remarked, "Gee, you can't half tell you two are sisters!"
We both looked at each other and burst into tears. 
The poor girl in the shop looked baffled at what she'd said to get such a response but all I could manage to say amidst the blubbering was "it's ok, what you said is like music to our ears!"

I don't see her much. My sis travels far and wide. Separate lives but similar hearts. When we do track one another down we are able to pick up where we last left off. I adore her and miss her despite the fact that we don't really know each other. 

I got really upset one day, a little angry too I guess. I was pregnant and sitting in a waiting room at the doctor's, when playing on the floor by my feet were two little girls dressed in fairy costumes. 
In their own little world, oblivious to everything else but their dresses, their wings and each other.
I watched them, my heart tugged,
and to put it plain and raw, I felt ripped off! 
So me being me, I wrote a poem about it... 

My sister wasn't the only one who didn't know I existed. No-one tied to my birth-parents did apart from one best friend. When all was finally revealed after I'd searched, some tensions arose. I'm no expert but according to Maori traditions, if for any reason you can't keep your children then they go to other members of the family. Aunts and Uncles were hurt, they said they could have had me. That they would have had me, 
but it wasn't meant to be, My God was onto it.

An exception to the rule.

Finding them filled in the spaces,
some of them anyway.
From someone who had searched her mind, her life, her heart, the world, I thought I would find the answer in finding where I came from.
I thought I would find myself.
Instead, I got to the end of myself,
then realised exactly how lost I was in the process.

I was back to basics.
Back to square one.
Back to wondering who?
and back to the beginning for HIM, my Saviour to find me, to start over,
to ultimately bring me HOME, the home He planned for me, not the one I had sometimes wished they'd taken me back to. Not even the one I ended up at despite it being chosen by Him, by God. 
But the one He wants me to bring others too as well. 

I didn't always see it like this and have had to deal with some pretty heavy issues that still rear their head from time to time, but here and now I can see that I wasn't without. 
I'm not without.
God gave me a family - a good one, the best for me in-fact!
Loving parents who love Jesus and taught me first to love Him.
He gave me my little-big brothers (they tower over me!!)
My own Family, the one my husband and I have made, complete with two little girls who are the cutest sisters that love to dress up, giggle and read stories with each other. A brave, amazing son who first made me a mama and helped to put things in perspective.
God gave me His Family and in that, the desires of my heart. 

My home is Heaven and my family will come with me, all of them! That was His plan all along. 
I will bring them Home.

I know where I belong and I am right where He wants me!


  1. It's hard not to shed a tear while reading your story...Yes Maori usually whangai (adopt) to other family members...BUT in your case my dear God knew exactly where you were meant to be!!
    I am so happy that you found your roots though, as they too are an important part of your life.

  2. Love you Mrs Ruby Rose, you are simply beautiful x
    Thank you lovely Tammi, I am blown away at this life, at the people in it, the blessing upon it and the one true God who made it possible! So glad we have met at this particular point in time - a divine moment my girl x

  3. Omgsh this is such an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing it with us xo

  4. Love this Peachy Girl....beautiful. What a love story too, between you and Him...

  5. I have just caught up on your last 3 posts! What an incredible story. Thank you for having the courage to share it. I rejoice in knowing that He knew me before I was even in my mother's womb...and had a plan. And His plans are so much greater than ours. I know He will use your story to impact many lives. Keep writing :)

  6. Loved reading about your developing relationship with your sister!! I have a big sister who was adopted out and I met her when she was 20, it was amazing to have an instant sister and I'm so glad we are able to be family now even after 20 years of not knowing each other. Sounds like you're on a healing journey :-)

  7. I am so glad you are sharing your story. I can see His hand on your life from the beginning. I love that you know that this is not our home.

    It has been a hard journey for you. But one I can see that He is going to use for His glory.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your story. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  8. This is an amazing story...amazing. God is such a beautiful author of life, and your life is no exception to that rule. Praise God!